LOVING THE UN-LOVABLES




It’s difficult grasping the concept of something you barely understand. Naturally our minds seek to fit empty spaces with some sort of reason before purposing to go ahead with an idea. Even with love, telling someone you have to love your neighbour would not kill the person’s natural urge to know why he should do such a thing.

Why love a fellow believer who is unrepentantly unloving?

Some people, even believers, know where the exact buttons to your emotions are and would not hesitate to make use of it especially at the worst of times.
This week at my church, we have been running a phenomenal series, titled ‘This Jesus.’ One important thing we learnt is the reality of our utter oneness with deity. Since as believers we have become one with Jesus it then means that whatever touches you also touches Jesus because you cannot be separated from Him. The concept of something becoming one means you can no longer define where one part starts and the other ends. Both now appear in a form that makes it impossible for you to identify their former individual characteristics. It is this concept of oneness that God patterned marriage after. However, my focus here is not on marriage.

Now let’s take it even deeper, the church is very dear to Christ. Several times, she is referred to as Jesus’ bride ( 2 Cor 11:2-3; Gal 5: 25-27 ). Marriage is a covenant relationship between a man and his bride. It’s a prototype of what we are to Jesus; a prototype of the marriage that is to come some day in heaven. Now if the Church is the bride of Christ, then every member in that body, like you, shares the same oneness with Christ. Therefore, anyone that touches another member of the church touches Jesus.

The reason we are commanded to love one another is because when you are unloving to another, you are really being unloving to Jesus. When you speak ill of another, you are really speaking ill of Jesus. When you plot evil towards another, you are doing this to Christ. So loving someone else in the body of Christ is the same thing as loving Jesus. In 1 John 4:20a, the Bible says “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a lair…” The interpretation of this is Jesus saying I am so much a part of your brother and sister. Therefore, being unloving to them is the same as being unloving to me.  This then means, you have no choice but to love another member in the body of Christ.

How about unbelievers? Do I have to love them?

Now I am glad you asked. If you study God’s nature on love in the most popular Bible verse ever John 3:16, we see that God did not just love the world but He ‘so’ loved the world. It is an awareness of this love in our unrepentant state that turned us to Jesus. The mind is quick to forget. Hence, it’s easy to forget we were once on the other side and become short tempered with those yet to turn to salvation. However, God’s approach to bringing them to Him is to love them. This worked for you, it would work for them too. It’s divine logic that has been trumping human logic for more than 2000 years. God uses you as His arms to love another. He also uses your mouth to voice His love to them. Being unloving to them, is almost tantamount to treason. It means you are deliberately hindering God’s kingdom agenda of ensuring people do not perish (John 3:16). The way we show God we love Him is by propagating the things He loves and the world, is on top of that list.

How then do I love?

When you gave your life to Christ, the seed of God was born in you. This is what the born again concept means. You are now your father’s child. Hence, God is love, means you are now love. Knowing this is the first step in acting in love. You can only produce fruits of your nature. God would never ask you to do something He knows He has not empowered you to do. God asking you to love your neighbour means that God has empowered you to love your neighbour. You only need to know how to tap into that knowledge. A good example is power. If you have power running into a house, it is expected that no darkness should exist in that house right? Wrong.  There is still the human effort of turning on the switches for the light bulbs to be powered. This is the same with Love. God has empowered you to love, you only need to know how to turn on the switch to channel the power for effective use.

Romans 5:5b says that “…the Love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” This passage has basically informed us that we have the God kind of love in our hearts. However, you would need to allow the Holy Spirit channel God’s love to the places they need to go as this is what He does. Because God would never go against your free will, your consent in turning on this switch is necessary. Too many times, we have been hurt and are unwilling to accept the Holy Spirit’s help. If this is your situation, simply ask Him to turn your unwillingness to willingness. His job is to help us and that He does perfectly.

At the start of this process, you may not feel differently about your love journey. At times, you may even find that the said individual annoys you even more but it is important to stick to the process. As time changes, you would begin to see the change in your heart towards this person as well. I have seen God do this for me soooooooooooooooooo many times. Now I have learnt that whenever I do not like someone, then it means I have the ability to love them sooooooooooooooo much. In a weird way, I feel excited about not liking someone because I know that God would use that opportunity to make a great relationship out of my fleshy feelings and bring His glory into it.

Another practical thing you can do is to look at people like you were seeing Jesus. Don’t look at the surface level of their actions, actually seek to see Jesus in them and watch how your perception of them changes.

The only way to love, is the way God loves and how He has called us to love is through the Holy Spirit. As you go through the process with the Holy Spirit, listen for the suggestions He would give you on actions to take and be quick to obey. This is how God transforms you.

In truth, there really is no excuse to be unloving to anyone. Be it a spouse, a believer that still has much growing up to do or someone so lost in the world, he has no clue he needs Jesus. Everyone qualifies for love (John 3:16)

Now that we have become one with Jesus, we have the ability to see through Jesus’ eyes. When  you look through the light of His eyes, you’ll definitely see people clearly. You’ll see the broken, the hurt, the confused, the clueless all in need of love. You see, loved people, love people too. When you know how much you are loved, you would want to love another. And when they know how much they are loved, they would want to love another as well. No darkness can catch up with this type of love.
Shine the light of love in your space today. Pray Romans 5:5 and watch how God’s love spreads all around you.

Love over fear.


Love Life and Marriage

Author, Script Writer and Blogger on love, life and marriages. I believe our society would be a healthier place when people honour the right perspective of marriage.